The Rule Behind Every Rule
Share what you know. Not what you heard.
She Knows Something exists so women can exchange useful dating information responsibly.
This isn't a gossip page.
It isn't a revenge page.
It isn't an investigation squad.
And appearing on SKS does not mean a man did something wrong.
Sometimes she knows something concerning.
Sometimes she knows something neutral.
Sometimes she knows something good.
Ask Without Accusing
If you simply want to know whether anyone knows him, Ask The Girls.
“Matched with him. Anybody know him?”
That's enough.
You don't need to imply something is wrong in order to ask.
Do not turn a neutral inquiry into:
- “What's the tea?”
- “Tell me all the dirt.”
- “I know there's something wrong with this guy.”
- “Destroy him.”
Ask first.
If someone actually knows something, she can share her own experience through the appropriate process.
Tell Your Story, Not Someone Else's
Good:
- “I dated him for three months.”
- “He told me we were exclusive.”
- “We went on two dates. He was respectful, but we wanted different things.”
Not acceptable:
- “My friend's coworker said he's married.”
- “Everyone knows he's a narcissist.”
- “I heard he beats women.”
Firsthand information carries a very different weight from rumor.
We treat it that way.
Facts First
Specific information is more useful than labels.
Instead of:
“He's a cheater.”
Tell us what happened.
Instead of:
“He's crazy.”
Tell us what happened.
Instead of:
“He's dangerous.”
If you experienced conduct that created a serious safety concern, use the Safety Concern process and describe the conduct.
Let other women understand the information rather than telling them what conclusion they must reach.
Dating Experience ≠ Dating Intel ≠ Safety Concern
These categories exist for a reason.
Dating Experience
“I dated him. Nice guy. We just wanted different things.”
Dating Intel
“He told me we were exclusive from March through June. Another verified member separately reports that he represented exclusivity to her during April and May.”
Safety Concern
A firsthand report involving violence, threats, stalking, sexual misconduct, coercion, fraud, or another serious safety issue.
They do not belong in one giant comment bucket.
Positive Information Is Welcome
If you had a good experience, say so.
If he treated you respectfully, say so.
If you dated for six months and the relationship ended because you wanted different things, that's useful context too.
SKS isn't designed to produce a predetermined conclusion about anyone.
Don't Diagnose People
Do not diagnose someone as a narcissist, sociopath, psychopath, bipolar, borderline, mentally ill, addicted, or otherwise assign medical or psychological conditions.
Describe the behavior you experienced.
Don't Dox
Do not post:
- Home addresses
- Private telephone numbers
- Private email addresses
- Work schedules
- License plates
- Financial information
- Government identification
- Children's names, schools, or photographs
- Real-time locations
- Unnecessary information about relatives
Dating information does not require exposing someone's entire life.
Don't Become the Investigation
- Do not follow someone.
- Do not contact his employer.
- Do not contact his children.
- Do not recruit members to investigate him.
- Do not create fake dating profiles to test him.
- Do not bait him.
- Do not hack accounts.
- Do not impersonate another person.
- Do not organize mass contact or reporting.
SKS is for sharing information you already legitimately possess, not manufacturing evidence.
Don't Take It Outside
- Do not use SKS as ammunition for public humiliation or retaliation.
- Do not repost content publicly for entertainment.
- Do not threaten someone with an SKS post.
- Do not tell someone, “Do what I want or I'm posting you.”
- Do not organize harassment.
- Do not use information here to intimidate contributors or subjects.
Screenshots Are Evidence, Not Decoration
If you submit screenshots as support, they must not be materially altered in a misleading way.
Cropping for privacy may be appropriate.
Changing words, dates, identities, sequence, or context is not.
SKS may request additional context when a screenshot could create a misleading impression.
Respect Corrections
People remember dates incorrectly.
Relationships are complicated.
New information emerges.
If you discover something you submitted was wrong, tell us.
Correcting the record is encouraged.
Knowingly leaving materially false information in place is not.
Safety Is Different
Serious allegations deserve serious handling.
Don't bury a report of violence, stalking, threats, sexual misconduct, coercion, or fraud in a casual comment thread.
Use the Safety Concern process.
That allows SKS to apply the additional moderation appropriate to serious information.
No Revenge Posting
A breakup is not a reason to manufacture a warning.
Anger doesn't make information false, but the information still needs to comply with our standards.
Do not use SKS to punish someone for rejecting you, ending a relationship, choosing someone else, winning a custody dispute, having a financial disagreement with you, or otherwise making you angry.
Share relevant dating information accurately.
No Pile-Ons
- Twenty comments saying “🚩🚩🚩” do not make information more reliable.
- Don't pile on someone you've never met.
- Don't repeat another member's allegation as though it became your own firsthand knowledge.
- Don't turn serious information into entertainment.
No False Sense of Security
No Dating Check found?
That means we don't currently have a Dating Check matching your search.
It does not mean:
- “He's safe.”
- “He's clean.”
- “No woman has ever had a problem with him.”
Likewise, a Dating Check existing does not mean:
- “He's dangerous.”
- “He did something wrong.”
- “Don't date him.”
Information is information. Your decision is yours.
Protect The Women Here Too
- Do not attempt to expose the identity of another contributor.
- Do not pressure a member to provide information she isn't comfortable sharing.
- Do not retaliate against someone because she submitted, corrected, clarified, or withdrew information.
- Do not disclose another member's private verification information.
One Person, One Dating Check
Don't create duplicate records to make someone appear to have more reports than he does.
Search first.
If the person already has a Dating Check, use Share What You Know.
If he doesn't:
ASK THE GIRLS
or
START A DATING CHECK
That is the intentional separation we designed.
The Bottom Line
- Ask without accusing.
- Share what you actually know.
- Describe experiences instead of assigning labels.
- Keep private information private.
- Treat serious allegations seriously.
- Correct mistakes.
- Don't retaliate.
- Don't turn information into entertainment.
- And let every woman make her own decision.